Co-Parenting & Your Kids
Putting your children first through effective co-parenting strategies.
Co-Parenting Best Practices
Your relationship with your ex has changed — but you're still a team when it comes to your kids.
Keep Communication Business-Like
Treat interactions with your ex like a professional relationship. Stick to facts about the kids — schedules, school, health. Use text or email for a written record. Apps like OurFamilyWizard can help keep things organized.
Be Consistent With Schedules
Kids thrive on predictability. Stick to the parenting plan as closely as possible. When changes are needed, communicate them early and offer alternatives. Consider a 50/50 schedule like alternating weeks or a 2-2-3 rotation.
Never Put Kids in the Middle
Don't use children as messengers, spies, or bargaining chips. Avoid speaking negatively about their other parent in front of them. Kids love both parents — let them.
Age-Appropriate Conversations
Toddlers need simple reassurance: "Mommy and Daddy both love you." School-age kids need facts without blame. Teens may want more detail but still shouldn't be burdened with adult problems.
Create a Solid Parenting Plan
Missouri requires a written parenting plan. Include daily schedules, holiday rotations, vacation time, decision-making responsibilities, communication methods, and dispute resolution processes.
Protect Your Kids' Emotional Health
Watch for signs of stress — changes in sleep, appetite, school performance, or behavior. Consider family counseling. Reassure your kids regularly that the divorce is not their fault.
Communication Templates
Not sure what to say? Here are some tried-and-true scripts to keep conversations productive.
Coordinating on School/Health
"I want to make sure [Child] feels supported with their upcoming project. Let's align on bedtime schedules and reading hours for both houses this week."
Requesting a Schedule Change
"Due to work responsibilities, I need to adjust drop-off time on Friday. Does 6:00 PM work for you, or would Saturday morning be better to keep things smooth for [Child]?"
De-escalating Tension
"Let's keep our communication focused on [Child]'s best interests. I will review the proposed schedule changes and reply by tomorrow evening."
Parenting Schedule Options
Missouri courts prohibit standardized default plans — your schedule should be customized to your family. Here are common options.
Alternating Weeks
Week on / week off. Simple and provides long, uninterrupted time with each parent. Best for older kids who can handle longer separations.
2-2-3 Rotation
Two days with one parent, two with the other, then three with the first — then alternate. Ensures neither parent goes more than 3 days without seeing the child.
5-2 Schedule
Child lives primarily with one parent during the school week, then spends weekends with the other. Good for maintaining school routine stability.
Holiday Alternation
Alternate major holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break) each year. Divide summer break evenly. Plan well in advance.
Remember
The goal isn't to win against your ex — it's to win for your kids. Children do best when they feel loved and secure with both parents.